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She's as mixed up as a fart in a fan factory.


Those folks I know:
~M's Stupid Journal~ ~Butthead~ ~Bond, Bethy Bond~ ~Fart Face~ ~My Other Sis~
Dec. 12th, 2006 @ 08:12 pm i'm not dead, just not around
Happy 'Paca
This journal has pretty much been abandoned since FF moved away, B went to school on the other side of the country, M got too busy with her new grown up job and I moved to the middle of nowhere and have half speed dial-up. There was however, one story in last week's new that deems mentioning:
"A plane bound for Texas made an emergency landing after a female passenger lit matches to mask the odor of her fart."
See? That was worth it huh? I thought so too.
Nov. 5th, 2006 @ 10:16 am B.C.
Happy 'Paca
Oct. 31st, 2006 @ 01:01 am they want me. they really, really want me.
Happy 'Paca


CONGRATULATIONS TO ME!
I JUST GOT AN ACCEPTANCE LETTER FROM CSUDH,
FOR THE ORTHOTIC PROGRAM.
I'M SO HAPPY!

Oct. 19th, 2006 @ 05:51 pm School Interview
Happy 'Paca
I knocked his socks off. By the end of the interview, the director of the program basically told me my application is very strong, he likes me a lot and I'll probably be hearing good news from him in the next week or so. So... yippy!

Oh, and I sold the Volvo last night. Say good bye to Anne, everybody.

Now I'm going to go die on the couch. I've been carrying 20' long sheets of steel siding up 10' ladders since 10:00am. I'd've been better off going to work all day. I'm beat! But the good news is the garage is done. We finished the roof about 30 minutes ago. Now all the stress is off cause Dad's leaving for another month is Lousianna and I'm driving Erin home to Atascadero this weekend. We're taking the new Jeep cause I love it. (Erin's not exactly looking forward to it.)
Oct. 17th, 2006 @ 01:11 am Yahoo!
Happy 'Paca
My application to school was due yesterday. My last letter of recomendation was faxed in Fri (I proof read it for my boss). Now the month or so of waiting to hopefully hear something.... right? Wrong. I got a call from CSUDH today to set up a phone interview tomorrow. I'm taking this as a good sign. Now I'm going to be all jittery until they call tomorrow and we do my 30 minute interview where I impress them with my wisdom and convince them I'm the most marvelous person alive. Yay. I think I'm finally getting somewhere.
Oct. 4th, 2006 @ 06:21 pm I did it, part 2
Happy 'Paca
I can't begin to tell you how releived I am right now. I wish I could spend the next hour soaking in a bubble bath, but that's the one major draw back about this house - only rock showers without doors - obviously no soaking allowed. I'd go veg with a good book, but I'm too antsy.

I mailed in my application to school today!

I've been running around like a chicken without a head for the past week. I've been working on the application for Northwestern's orthotic and prosthetic program. I knew the application was due in November, but wasn't sure the exact date and it's not printed anywhere on the application, so I called the school. Guess what they told me. They've discontinued their traditional program and are not offering a distance learning progam instead. I absolutely couldn't believe it! They have the oldest and msot renouned program in the country and they just got rid of it. There's only a couple other schools and I they all have different due dates so I started calling around that afternoon. Turns out Dominguez Hills program in So Cal has extended their due date (I'm hoping that means they didn't get very many applicants this year) from Sept 15 to Oct 15 and if I can get an application, transcripts, and three letters of recommendation in three weeks, I can apply. Well folks, I did it. I mailed it off today so keep your fingers crossed.

Plus, this application is for January. I'd pretty much given up on being able to get into school this year cause I wanted to go to Norhtwestern and their Nov applicaion was for next fall. If I don't make it, I can always send in an application for a school in Connecticut in Apr or reapply for Dominguez Hills for next fall, but I don't know what would make my application more appealing. I wrote a dang good letter, if I do say so myself. I have two certified practicioners writing me letters and the best letter writer known to mandkind, my anatomy professor is sending one in. I'd be soooo happy if I could start school in Jan. I'm tired of live here, in the house and in this town, and one of the ladies at work is turing into the devil - I'm so serious! She's possesed by something vicous and evil! I'd love to go to school and get going with my residency. It's so exciting to finally be getting out of this holding pattern.

So now I have a new car (which I'm NOT going to be able to pick up this weekend and am totally bummed about, hopefully he can meet me one day next week if I take a day off work). I also have my giant quasi-grad school application done. Now I can start working all the stuff I've been putting off for the past couple months - like finishing up Erin's graduation quilt. Technically she hasn't graduated since she hasn't finished her senior project on dung beetles, so even though she walked the stage in May, I'm not in trouble for not having it done. We haven't even had a graduation party for her yet.

I hope all is going well with you guys. B? Are you out there? You did make it to Chicago and school right? I'm guessing it started. I haven't heard from you since July - what's going on? Vet school got you swamped? Where are you living? Set aside some time tomorrow to cross all your fingers, toes and eyes for me, then let me know what you've up to.
Oct. 1st, 2006 @ 09:06 pm I bought one!
Happy 'Paca
Meet the newest member of my family...

Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting Photobucket - Video and Image Hosting


She's got everything! Lift, mud tires, 6 cyl, speakers on the role bar, half doors, A/C, a couple tops. Isn't she beautiful? I'm thinking about calling her Gretchen. Only problem, I can't pick her up until next weekend and that means this is going to be a very long week.
Sep. 27th, 2006 @ 05:39 pm Baby toupe
Happy 'Paca
The first Fart Clubber to get knocked up gets one of these little gems at their baby shower. Seriously. I just hope they're making a mullet by then. It'll look great with the buck teeth pacifier.

Let's just hope it's FF who gets knocked up first, cause we all know she'll be most apt to torture her kids for pure amusement.
Sep. 21st, 2006 @ 07:00 pm The big O
Happy 'Paca
Did you know there's such a thing as organic mayonase? I don't get it. What exactly is in mayo that could be un-organic? It makes about as much sense as fat free half-and-half.
Sep. 20th, 2006 @ 07:51 pm I think I'll go eat worms.
Happy 'Paca
Today's horoscope:
Gemini (May 21 - June 21): For whatever reason, lately it feels like your heart just isn't into pumping blood through its arteries and cardiac veins by repeated, rhythmic contractions.

Really? Ya think? Could it because the Jeep that I was about to buy turned out to piss on me? Not literaly of course, but seriously, talk about a major let down. I've been looking for a couple months and I'm ready for something new. I'd found a Jeep Wrangler I really liked - had everything. 6 cyl, soft top, hard top, half doors, 32" tires, sound bar, amp, etc. Price was good. I was just about go to up to Sac and buy it and decided at the last minute to run a CarFax cause the guy I'm buying from is totally honest and he took really good care of the Jeep, but it had a previous owner and I wanted to make sure it hadn't been in any accidents or anything else weird. So I got the CarFax today and the damned Jeep has a salvage title. Did the dip wad I was buying it from think I wouldn't notice the big, red SALVAGE stamped across the title? What a jackass. I'm pissed off. This is what I get for finally getting out of bed today. I've been half comotose on the couch since Sunday with a murderous cold and this is the good news I get for trying to accomplish something today. I guess this is the universe's way of telling me to hold out for a yellow one.
Sep. 2nd, 2006 @ 10:12 am Knitting
Happy 'Paca
I picked up a sock I'd started to knit a couple months ago. I'd gotten about half way into it and gotten distracted. And it's a good thing I got distracted. I had to pull the whole thing out when I looked at it. For some unknown reason I was knitting a pair of red, white and blue socks for sasquach. These things are huge! I cast on more than 80 stitches! Any way, they've been restarted with a whole lot less stitches.

I also started this really cute cap sleeve shirt. All was going fine... I got through the maddening lace section (I love lace, but the pattern of this lace was just boring enough I kept forgetting where I was and screwing it up). I got up to the waist and started the decreases. The directions said to decrease the next 5 rounds. Then I read the next line of directions and it says "over the next 3 inches." Crap! I have to take out the last 1100 stiches (seriously! it's 210 stitches around). And since I had to pull it off the needles to frog those 1100 stitches, I thought I'd try it on. I think I should be making a different size. I'm gonna ignore that project for a while again til I decided to re-start the whole stupid thing.

Plus, that designer I said I'd knit a trunk show item for, finally got the pattern to me. It looks simple and easy, with a little bit of pattern to keep the shirt interesting. Anyway, I should get cracking on that now. I haven't finished anything for myself in a long time, but now that it's starting to feel a little bit like fall, I'm ready to pick up my needles again. Too bad it's so I can knit for someone else.

FF, send me a pic of your fingerless gloves. I know your mom wanted hers to look like yours. I can make her a pair, but I don't really remember how I made yours. I've seen some really cool patterns, but they don't have the stripes like yours.
Aug. 28th, 2006 @ 09:45 pm Them people in the South must be wierd
Happy 'Paca
I made fried green tomatoes tonight. I don't see what all the fuss is about. Seriously - eww.

And yay for me taking tomorrow off work! I'm going to State Fair to cheer on Madi who's showing a couple of her angora goats tomorrow. Wish her luck.
Aug. 26th, 2006 @ 06:50 pm It's time to curl up with some knitting and a library movie
Happy 'Paca
Today I...

... declared war on the rose bushes. I won, but came away with a few battle scars.

... got stung by a bee. Twice.

... made "different oatmeal cookies" that were a little more different than I expected.

... dropped steel beams in three of my ten fingers. (I don't think any of my nails are going to turn black though. Yay.)

and my day still doesn't even come close to being this kind of a "bad day."
Aug. 22nd, 2006 @ 08:22 pm Should I be worried?
Happy 'Paca
My current horoscope...

Gemini (May 21 - June 21): Crime-scene investigators standing over your mangled and mutilated corpse next week will be shocked by the sheer number of grammatical errors carved into your forehead.

I'm not sure if I'm more disturbed that I'm dead or that I have things carved into my forehead. I like my forehead. My mom always told me my best feature was my hairline. Even I'm not so out of touch that I didn't realize that was kind of a strange thing for her to latch onto, but hey, if my hairline is that great, carving up my forehead is going to ruin the effect. How will I ever get guys in my afterlife if I have things carved into my forehead. Especially if the punctuation is bad. I'm gonna be stuck with the really red, rednecks - the ones that talk so retarded you're not even sure it's English. OMG! I'm gonna end up with someone that talks like I type! Oh, this is bad.
Aug. 13th, 2006 @ 01:33 pm I wonder what else they're saying about me.
Happy 'Paca
Apparently the guys at work are finally getting used to having a girl in the shop. I cut my hair last week and when B saw it, he asked if I'd been in a fight with a weed whacker. I suppose it's an apt description, but it looks the same as it always does. He's just getting more comfortable.

And last week I had to run a piece of plastic down to one of the other offices and I was hanging out there since I didn't have any patients all morning. He showed me around there office and we were talking about school and I was giving him a bad time about his "friend with benefits." He's the man-whore sleeping with the new lady in our office who's having a midlife crisis and considering leaving her husband. So walk outside and there's a lull in the conversation and all of a sudden he pops up with "Are you a lesbian?" Out of the blue. I told him no. He asked if I'm bi. I told him no. Apparently he asked my boss, but my boss told him he didn't think so but could never ask me that. Leave it to H. He has no shame. Then H starts in with "B2 (the fiend-with-benefits) doesn't have anything to worry about then." And makes it sound like she thought maybe I was hitting on her at work. I clarify that I have no interest in her and I like boys. When I get back to my office, I'm like "B2, you won't believe what H said. Not that I'm offended or surprised, but damn is that man blunt." And her being the naive, sheltered, church lady from Lompock that she is is baffled and doesn't understand what he'd even ask if I'm a lesbian. She didn't realize short spiky hair tends to be a Butch thing. Anyway. H wasn't checking into it for her sake. I'm pretty sure he was fishing around for a 3some. Fat chance. 1) No girls. 2) No office dating. 3) What use do I have for a 48 year-old teenager who gets around (a lot!)?
Aug. 12th, 2006 @ 11:41 pm Chloe
Happy 'Paca
Erin got a new horse. Her name is Chloe. This is her (yeah, she's a cover girl):
Aug. 11th, 2006 @ 08:52 pm Fire
Happy 'Paca
Last night I started a bonfire and as Mom and I sat there talking and staring at the flames, we discovered that we are of completely different schools of thought concerning the purpose of a bonfire. She (falsely, obviously) though bonfires are for sitting around and talking. I, however, informed her the real reason bonfires are so much fun is because you get to sit next to a big fire and poke it with a stick and make sparks jump all over. She's so naive sometimes. Oh and I didn't catch anything on fire that wasn't supposed to be burned.
Aug. 8th, 2006 @ 10:11 pm Thank you!!!
Happy 'Paca
Thank you thank you thank you! You are the best!

I got an awesome package from my secret pal. It had a sock monkey post card, Magknit's Saturday Market Bag, a huge ball of brown yarn and several bars of great smelling soap. In fact, everything in the bag smells great bacause of the soaps. Pics will follow tomorrow when there's sun light.
Aug. 8th, 2006 @ 05:53 pm Summer
Happy 'Paca
One of my favorite things about summer are homemade watermelon milkshakes.

That and on hots days when I was a kid, when we'd spent all day outside and my mom was beat, she used to make us rootbeer floats for dinner. It wasn't until high school that I found out rootbeer floats are not an acceptable dinner by most parents' standards.

I'm gonna go rummage around and see if we have any more watermelon left.
Aug. 7th, 2006 @ 05:53 pm At least I'm honest.
Happy 'Paca
My boss made this really great analogy the other day. I told him I was looking for a new car and he starts spouting off about how a car is like a relationship. At first it's lust and everything's perfect and you're so proud. Then you get into a pattern and life's comfortable together. You know eachother's limits and know ehat to expect. After time though, you eventually get into a funk when you start looking else where. Not because you're unsatisfied, but because the relationship is habit and you want something spicy again. At this point you can be stupid and start looking around or you can take your significant other (car) out, spend a little money on them, make them purr a little more often and revive the relationship, reminding each of you why you fell in love in the first place.

That's just how full of shit my boss is. I've gotta admit, it was a pretty good speal for spur of the moment though. And I quickly responded that it was a very nice story, but I'm trading up.

There's nothing wrong with Anne. She reliable. She runs great. She treats me well and I've never had to take her into the shop even once. She still looks great. But I'm bored. Been bored since a couple months after I got her. I held onto her for the required 12 months, now I'm trading up.

I've been looking at older Land Rovers and Xterras. I've pretty much nixed the Xterra cause I think it's still priced a little high for what you're getting. If I'm buying a vehichle with almost 90K miles on it, it shouldn't be over $10K! And I really like the Land Rover. Actually I love the Land Rover. Have since I was in high school. I've been looking at the older Discoveries, but they tend to break down A LOT and that's what I have Myrtle for. Plus, when a Land Rover dies, the parts are a minimum four times the cost of any normal car. Then I sat in a Jeep Wrangler yesterday that was actually comfortable. The only ones I'd ever riden in were friends' in high school that had them all lifted with giant tires and those things ride so hard, but this had comforable seats and now I'm looking to track down some 4 and 6 cylinders to drive those around a bit. It's not like I'm in a big hurry to buy, like I said, Anne's running great. She's just boring and I'd like to be in something that sits up a little higher and is different (cause I can't be seen driving a 4-Runner or Explorer - those are way too normal for me). It also has to be comfortable cause I spend way too much time driving. And I ain't looking to break the bank cause I know I'll be tired of it in a year and looking for a new car again.

Let me tell you, the dealers are loving me. I don't really know what I want, but all the usual stuff they show is too boring and I have no problem telling them that. I hate car dealers and I have a big mouth. I had one lady walk away from me, wihtout even saying goodbye. She finally figured out I wasn't going to fork over cash that day so she just walked away, then some lacky came trotting up and tried to real us in - I told him I'd looked at all their cars and I didn't like anything - he kept rambling so I grabbed Mom by the arm and walked away. One other guy was pretty cool. He walked around his entire lot and the 4 lots next door, hiking through all the stuff hiden away in the back. He wasn't pushy at all and just wandered around pointing at stuff. After he tried to show off the new Toyota SUV and I told him it looked like the cartoon version of a Hummer, to which he got all proud and started sticking our his chest like that was a great compliment, I told him "no, that's a bad thing. it's ugly" he decided "at elast you're honest." he was cool. I'm getting sick of dealerships though. I think I finally have it narrowed down to a couple SUVs now though so I'm gonna start replying to craigslist. I'm just ready to have something new to drive.